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“If you want a friend in Washington,” former President Harry Truman once famously advised, “get a dog.” But unfortunately for those looking for new human companions in the nation’s capital or most other big cities, they’re not readily available at your local pet shop or humane center. Pooper-scoopers and squeeze toys, you bet. BFFs, not so much.
These days, Americans have about five hours of daily leisure time—and don’t spend much of it socializing with others. Nearly three hours of that downtime is typically spent parked on the couch in the often solitary pursuit of watching television.
As Harvard political scientist Robert Putnam put it about a decade ago, we’ve gone from having friends to watching “Friends.” (No, engaging in TweetChats about “Game of Thrones” isn’t much of an improvement.)
Truth be told, as you embark on the wayward journey known as “adulthood,” it becomes harder and harder to make true friends—the kind you made so easily when you were in college. Friends who accept your mistakes and lousy taste in Netflix. Friends you can confess dark secrets to. Friends who will actually help you move. Friends you can hit up for cash … at 2:30 am … on a national holiday. Those kinds of friends.
All too often, people realize how much they have neglected to restock their bounty of bosom buddies only when they encounter a big life event, like a divorce or a move. In fact, plugging in to a (nonvirtual) social network can be especially challenging when you relocate across the country.
So the realtor.com® data analysts—some of whom are actually quite popular—decided to help out those looking for new lifelong cronies. We looked at the 42 largest metropolitan areas that were used in a 2013 University of Utah study on social interaction potential.
The study measured how much access strangers in cities have to one another, such as meeting on the subway, striking up conversations in a coffee shop, or simply bumping into one another on the street. And then we added a few criteria of our own:
- Number of bars, bookstores, and gyms (where lonely souls can strike up conversations with one another)
- Church congregations per 100,000 adults (the old-school social network)
- Percentage of single adults (who often have more time for socializing than their paired-up peers with children)
- “Service clubs” (e.g., Rotary and Kiwanis clubs) per 100,000 adults
- Number of libraries (which offer a slew of social activities)
- Number of individuals participating in Meetup groups
- Percentage of adults involved in volunteer work
So, here are the best cities for getting out there and expanding your social circle—instead of bingeing on crappy Chinese takeout and Hulu alone for yet another Friday night. We’re here to make your life better! You’re welcome.
1. Austin, TXAdult population: 1.4 million
Median home price: $425,000
Not only is Austin full of friendly people, there’s an abundance of outdoor spaces where you can meet them.
Greg Chow
This proudly quirky Texas city has more adult Meetup groups than any other place. Clubs for stand-up paddleboarding, after-work networking, and running with shelter dogs are a few of the city’s most popular, according to the Meetup website. The fact that it’s also the capital of the state whose motto is “friendship” also deserves a tip of the metaphorical 10-gallon hat.
The partly arid climate allows for plenty of outdoor opportunities, leading to an emphasis on fitness that boosts Austin to the fourth-highest concentration of health clubs in the nation. It’s also home to the University of Texas, which ensures a thriving singles and bar scene. Bonus: You and your new pals can make the rounds sampling the city’s signature breakfast tacos to determine the best, once and for all.
2. Milwaukee, WIAdult population: 1.2 million
Median home price: $130,000
If Bernie Brewer can make friends in Milwaukee, you shouldn’t have any problems.
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It doesn’t require a great leap of imagination to figure out that a city that was once home to four of the world’s largest breweries, including Pabst Brewing Co. and the Joseph Schlitz Brewing Co., would have a thriving bar scene. But Milwaukee also ranked high in our analysis for a healthy number of gyms, service clubs, and volunteers.
People in the Midwestern mecca still spend a lot of time together in old-fashioned ways. Our analysis found that about a third of Wisconsin’s residents volunteer, the third-highest number in the nation. And after decades of flight to the suburbs, a revitalizing downtown is responsible for helping boost the number of bookstores per capita. Book clubs are a great way to share quality time with friends and while away the (long) months between Packers seasons.
3. San Francisco, CAAdult population: 3.5 million
Median home price: $1,100,000
Plenty of activities to meet people in SF, day or night.
Max Illy / EyeEm
The City by the Bay ranks high on lists of the most romantic cities in the U.S., but that shouldn’t prevent you from finding less amorous connections there as well. The cool, Mediterranean climate gives people few excuses to get out of their homes and mingle—and more reasons to hit any one of the more than 500 gyms and fitness clubs in the city.
While San Francisco is distinct from Silicon Valley, farther down the peninsula, people in this tech-savvy town still flock online to meet others. The city has the seventh-highest percentage of people enrolled in Meetup groups. And not only is the Bay Area home to Facebook, with its billions of “friends,” the city is also the birthplace of the Hey! Vina app, which helps grown women find gal pals. Real ones.
4. Pittsburgh, PAAdult population: 1.9 million
Median home price: $160,000
Plenty of bridges crossing Pittsburgh’s three rivers, making it easy to get out and meet people.
Richard Cummins/Getty Images
You wouldn’t think a city that suffered through almost three decades of decline in its manufacturing industries would be one of the country’s friendlier places. Yet well into the postindustrial era, Pittsburgh appears to be a smart bet for those looking to make some honest-to-god friends
The Steel City has the third-highest concentration of bars, the fourth-highest percentage of church congregations, the second-highest number of libraries, and the highest percentage of service clubs. It’s also home to nearly 70 colleges and universities, which provide plenty of opportunities for adults taking continuing education classes to share notes.
5. Buffalo, NYAdult population: 897,000
Median home price: $110,00
If you like cold-weather activities, like ice skating in Rotary Rink, Buffalo may be for you (and Canada, full of tons of friendly people, is just a hop, skip, and jump away).
Lonely Planet
As you probably know, it snows quite a bit in this former manufacturing hub. The winds from Lake Erie routinely contribute to annual snowfall totals exceeding 100 inches or more over Buffalo and its surrounding neighbors. It’s no small wonder, then, that residents tend to stick together—especially in heated quarters. The city has some of the highest per-capita numbers of bars, bookstores, and libraries in the nation.
It also boasts more than one adult sports league, where athletes can choose from team activities such as soccer, kickball, and touch football—and then mingle with one another during the postgame trips to the local tavern. As a bonus, the city, which is undergoing a resurgence, also has the lowest median home price on the list for cash-strapped, aspiring homeowners.
6. Portland, ORAdult population: 1.8 million
Median home price: $450,000
Plenty of places to make friends in Portland—even if your bike has more than one gear.
RyanJLane/Getty Images
Just because Portland has been known as that alternative, DIY city where young, trust-fund hipsters go to retire (and sip Starbucks) doesn’t mean you can’t find true friends there. Its history as a main driver of the microbrewery movement has caused bars to sprout up across the metro area, and it’s considered one of the best food cities in the nation. So, there are plenty of places to eat and drink, not necessarily in that order. What could be more social?
While its unofficial motto (stolen from Austin!) is “Keep Portland Weird,” the city also has a thriving volunteer movement, which is the fourth highest in the nation. About a third of all Portlanders are involved in some volunteer work.
7. St. Louis, MOAdult population: 2.1 million
Median home price: $155,000
Missouri Capital in St. Louis
Wesley Hitt/Getty Images
The Gateway City may have lost half its population over the past 50 years, but it remains one of the best Midwestern hubs for folks who like to forge connections the old-fashioned way. St. Louis has the fifth-highest number of churches among major metro areas, which provide great opportunities for socializing during choir practices and bake sales. It also has the third-highest percentage of service clubs. And the group St. Louis Transplants helps new residents connect with one another through various events and peer hosts.
8. Columbus, OHAdult population: 1.5 million
Median home price: $140,000
Alum Creek Lake beach, just a few minutes from downtown Columbus.
The third-largest city in the Midwest, Columbus is one of the most frequently overlooked big metro areas in the nation (until it comes time to compile lists of best big cities with small-town vibes). Bars, churches, and social clubs are abundant in this state capital. And there’s the oddly named website called Cbusr, which helps locals connect to forge friendships.
It’s hard to overlook all the social activity in the city’s library system, one of the best—and busiest—in the country. But if your idea of a fun time out with friends runs more toward booze or movies, you can partake of both at the funky Studio 35 Cinema and Drafthouse downtown. Why don’t all movie theaters have bars?
9. New Orleans, LAAdult population: 946,000
Median home price: $230,000
There’s an abundance of ways to meet people in New Orleans, and some don’t even involve throwing beads.
Kylie McLaughlin/Getty Images
Let’s be honest: If you can’t make a friend in New Orleans, then we can’t help you. The good times do indeed roll here, all hours of the day and night, as New Orleans is the country’s undisputed bar capital. It’s time to raise that heavy-on-the-rum hurricane.
But the Big Easy is more than bars, beignets, and Bourbon Street. The athletically inclined can check out PlayNola, an adult sports league with more than 12,000 members. Players can choose from a variety of leagues, including everything from softball and basketball to flag football, volleyball, and kickball. Those more interested in giving their minds a workout can take classes at Loyola University in New Orleans, Tulane University, and the University of New Orleans. And women can get involved in the Junior League of New Orleans, a volunteer organization of more than 2,000 members.
10. Washington, DCAdult population: 4.5 million
Median home price: $534,000
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